Book Recommendation
By The Arbinger Institute
I’ve read hundreds of books over the past 30 years, and this book still holds the #2 position on my list in terms of impact to people! As we’ve worked with senior-level teams or coached mid-level leaders who are struggling in their role, we commonly pull out this book and add it to the reading list. We’ve had many leaders share, “this is the best book I’ve ever read.” Or “I needed this to knock me upside the head.”
As the book shares, the biggest problem people have is not seeing they have a problem. You know these kinds of people. You know they have a problem; others at work know they have a problem; even their families may know they have a problem. The problem is…..they don’t know they have a problem. In fact, many people spend their days pointing fingers at everyone else.
The technical name for this inability to see our own problem is ‘self deception.’ In the book, Leadership and Self Deception, the less technical name used is “being in the box.” When we’re self-deceived, we’re in the box. When we betray ourselves, we are in the box. Tendencies inside the box will be to inflate others’ faults and inflate our own virtues. Additionally, when we’re in the box, we have a need to be justified and to find someone else to blame. You might see how this will trigger a need for mutual mistreatment and mutual justification. One of my favorite phrases in the book is, “Look, I’ll mistreat you so you can blame your bad behavior on me if you’ll mistreat me so I can blame my bad behavior on you.”
If you’d like a really close up look at yourself in the mirror, this is your book.
Principal and Co-Founder, Living As A Leader®
Aleta Norris is an expert leadership coach and trainer with 30 years of experience developing leaders. She is also a highly sought-after speaker for annual meetings, keynote engagements, panel discussions and networking groups.
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I’ve read hundreds of books over the past 30 years, and this book still holds the #2 position on my list in terms of impact to people! As we’ve worked with senior-level teams or coached lower-level leaders who are struggling in their role, we commonly pull out this book and add it to the reading list. We’ve had many leaders share, “this is the best book I’ve ever read.” Or “I needed this to knock me upside the head.”
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